*Top 17
fatal things to say if your
wife is pregnant***
17.
"I finished the Oreos."
16. "Not to imply anything,
but I don't think the kid
weighs 40 pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking
at her, you'd never guess
that Pamela Lee had a baby..!!"
14. "I sure hope your
thighs aren't gonna stay
that flabby forever!"
13. "Well, couldn't
they induce labor? The 25th
is the Super Bowl!"
12. "Darned if you
ain't about five pounds
away from a surprise visit
from that Richard Simmons
fella."
11. "Fred at the office
passed a stone the size
of a pea. Boy, that's gotta
hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute
there, I thought I woke
up next to Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous! Why
can't men experience the
joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles
supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own*
ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully
puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk ?"
4. "Maybe we should
name the baby after my secretary,
Tawney."
3.
"Man! That rose tattoo
on your hip is the size
of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water?
Yeah, like the Hoover Dam
retains water..."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing
To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant:
1. "You don't have
the guts to pull that trigger..."
